Thursday, June 9, 2011

Wanton Redhead

Lea Zeqiri, Wanton Redhead, had a fun post here. Not the part where she refers to herself as an idiot. If you follow Lea, you will know that she is far from it. She's really nothing short of brilliant (see her profile if you doubt me!).

So...I've pulled open my NaNo project, which remains titleless. It's Dystopian. Let's take a look, shall we? First and last lines from my first five chapters. Keep in mind - this has not been touched. I am just now opening and reading through it. What you read is what I wrote in November 2010. Also, it's a mess. I started in 3rd limited, but my MC decided she wanted to tell the story herself so in the second chapter it because 1st person past tense. After a few more chapters, she wanted it in present tense so there it went. It's convenient that it's all over the map given that it's the end of the world as she knows it, she's losing everything and being carted off to god knows where without her family. This will all be corrected in the rewrites, though - not the situation, the writing.

Okay, enough with the apologies...buckle up, and let's go for a ride!

1. The first explosion rocked the room, sending her books flying off the desk.
2. The car lurched forward, screeching out of the school parking lot into the chaos that surrounded it.

1. I felt like I was in the spin cycle of my mother's washing machine, churning through the destruction.
2. I lunged, an animal like cry escaping my lips.

1. He caught my wrist, twisted until I yelped and dropped the pen, then yanked me out of the backseat.
2. She was out. **

1. I braced myself as the plane raced down the runway.
2. Before he could finish, the door burst open.

1. Bright, white light blinded me.
2. "I told them it wasn't a good idea," Meredith says.

**This reminds me of the summer that my parents decided to send me to some Bible Camp with my next door neighbor. I was ten. We were supposed to memorize a Bible verse as an assignment. I picked the shortest one that I could find. I don't remember which book it was in or what the number was, but...He wept. That was it. Two words. Simple! My friend said it was "cheating." There hadn't been any rules stated so the teacher gave me credit for it. For some reason, that three word line brought back that memory.

What about you - anyone want to post the first and last lines of their current projects or NaNo projects?


  1. The first and last lines of the first chapter are pretty awesome. There's definitely action and they both raise questions (what explosion, what chaos?). I love the simile that kicks off the second chapter and again there's more action and a cliffhanger at the end of the chapter. Honestly, these are all really great sentences, especially for an untouched NaNo first draft. Way to go, Jennie B.!
    - Sophia.

  2. Great firsts and lasts! I have to concur with Sophia. That first line in Chapter 1 is essentially perfect. Immediately, I want to read more. What kind of explosion? What caused it? What happened right after? And 'first' suggests more explosions are coming... So much anticipation in just that one sentence!

    I've poked my head into my 2010 NaNo a few times. I'm still deciding what to do with it. I've thought about pairing it down to either a short story or a novella. It's in pretty good shape, needs some editing and trimming, and the ending has to be written. We'll see...

  3. Wow. These are great. Sounds like so much is happening. And you've grabbed me. I'd definitely like to hear more, Jennie :)

    I'd love to do this too, but my post's already up, so maybe some other time. But this a fun idea!

  4. Great first and last lines! I hope you had fun with NaNo last year. Hope you play around with it and get it published.

  5. Great lines! The first one for The School really catches my attention--I want to know why there was an explosion!

    Hey, why not. First line for my NaNo novel (which is also my current WIP):

    The universe seemed oppressive when it was viewed through the deck of a warship.

    Last line of the same chapter:
    "And make sure we don’t cross paths with IX Void."

    Science Fiction. :)

  6. Oh my goodness, you have a Meredith in there! I totally approve! Haha, I love these lines--you've got so much tension and suspense and action in them. It sounds like you've got quite the suspenseful novel!